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The Virtual Shrubbery - Apollo's Playground |
Cats are
rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments,
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Kitty Nirvana!
I love sinks!
Whatchu lookin' at?
Who knew Kitty Nirvana came in multiple experiences?
It's a long way down, but I don't need help!
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Previous installments: The Move (TheMove.pdf / 17KB) ‡ A Flying Plaything (FlyingPlaything / 21KB) ‡ Emergency Update (Emergency.pdf /226KB) ‡ Foiling Mama (Foiling.pdf / 9KB) ‡ Plausible Deniability (PlausibleDeniability.pdf /62KB) ‡ Estrogen Overload (EstrogenOverload.pdf / 13KB) ‡ Catnapping (Catnapping.pdf /188KB ) ‡ Lend Me Your Ears (Ears.pdf / 10KB) ‡ The P.K.s (PKs.pdf / 75KB) ‡ I've Been in Hell (Hell.pdf / 9KB) ‡ Happy Birthday to Me! (Birthday.pdf / 9KB) ‡ Joys, Silly Little Sisters, and Poetry (Joys.pdf / 13KB) ‡ Not Speaking to the Amamauensis and Asserting Authority (Authority.pdf / 13KB) ‡ The Humdrum Life (Humdrum.pdf /10KB ) ‡ DIH (DIH.pdf /334KB) ‡ You're Interrupting My Nap (Nap.pdf / 12KB) ‡ I'm So Excited! (Excited.pdf / 12KB) ‡ Betrayed (Betrayed.pdf / 13KB) ‡ Year in Review (Review.pdf /2.26MB) ‡ Calumny and Lies! Lies, I Tell You, LIES! (internal link) BORED Some of you have wondered where I've been for the last 8 months or so. Well, the answer is, right here, being basically bored except for a week with houseguests after Christmas (not bored) and a couple of weeks when Mama wasn't home (lonely AND bored). It's not really very fair to say that I've been bored. It's just been the same old, same old around here without many visitors. Serina will now actually pick fights now on rare occasions, though It's still so tiny compared to me that it's not such a fair fight. But Mama is okay with our squabbles because we NEVER draw blood on each other. On her, yes, occasionally - even the little one managed it once or twice! I'd be proud of It if I cared enough to feel pride in its accomplishments. (No, It hasn't been nipped and tucked. I have come to the conclusion that "It" is an appropriate appellation because it has little tiny male parts but none of the male tendencies when females in heat are around - and yes, we've encountered a couple of them each month through the screen doors. I, who HAVE been shamefully emasculated, reacted more to those hussies than It did. I would say there's a definite lack of testosterone in this house except that it's not true; the testosterone is just in the wrong bodies, apparently.) I haven't even had many days locked out of the bedroom this year because it's been good weather - and that means the bugs have stayed mostly outside, which cuts down on my fun factor. The most exciting thing that has happened all summer was last week when Mama had a hot flash as she was settling down to go to sleep. How exciting was it? I actually left the room because she was radiating so much heat. And a couple of hours later, when she was asleep, the sheets around her were still hot enough to be uncomfortable. So I slept at the end of the bed instead of next to her. It was awful. Almost as awful as now, because she has the air conditioner on to help with the humidity. Hello? Does she think I like humidity? Let's compare surface area covered by hair to surface area covered by fur. I win, even over It. Let me stay in, Mama! I'll even watch the convention coverage with you. Wait. If I'm that desperate...I REALLY MUST BE BORED. Help me! Apathetically
yours, Calumny
and Lies! Lies, I Tell You, LIES! Do not under any circumstances believe what you read at that other site. The image seen there has clearly been Photoshopped, as I would never allow myself to be seen in such a degrading position. I don't blame Bill. His name has been dragged through the mud in this endeavor to smear my good name and I will defend him and his honor with my claws. And I will brook no comments about "cute", "adorable", or "sweet" with regard to that blasphemous photograph, either. I have been wronged and if I thought I could get a lawyer to take my case, I'd sue. Mama just laughed at me and said that cats don't have standing in human courts. I wonder if I can get habeus corpus to apply with the right representation? Probably not, at least under the Bush administration. What? I listen to NPR with Mama, remember? I follow the news and I know that the reputation of my great country is being dragged down by the fearmongers who won't acknowledge that what makes America great is our ability to be the place where all people, if not cats, have the same rights under the law. I think I'll wait to see who wins the 2008 presidential election before I launch my Feline-American Rights Campaign. Repeat after me: anybody but Hillary. Anybody but Mitt. Anybody but Rudy. Not real keen on Ron Paul, Dennis Kucinich, or Mike Huckabee, either. What about a unity ticket: McCain-Obama? McCain-Richardson? Never happen, sadly. If I were Mama and the Pennsylvania primary were still going to matter, I'd bite the bullet and affiliate with the Democrats long enough to vote for either Richardson or Obama. But since the nominee will almost certainly be chosen long before then, I think she's going to remain staunchly independent ("unaffiliated" is so declasse). Anyway, the Christmas tree is up again and Mama has had her first party. It was a meeting, too; they laughed a lot while they did business and didn't pay much attention to me. They would have given me my proper due if I had a vote on Church Council, though apparently there is some clause in the bylaws that prevents cats from joining the church. Yet another instance of human discrimination, I say. If I have to give up cuddle time because Mama is out until after 1 in the morning consoling a family after a death, then I ought to have a say, right? We had an ice storm yesterday, which made everything very pretty but I could tell that it was slippery outside. Mama didn't have to go out but once, which was good. It's all melted now, but the temperature is dropping again and Mama says we're supposed to have a snowstorm tomorrow into Sunday. That will be nice; I like to watch the snow fall, even if the window sills are too cold to sit in. If, of course I could sit in the window sills, but somebody decorated them again this year. To be fair, just the ones downstairs, but the ones upstairs are no warmer and I can't see the people as well from upstairs. And the little white dust mop tries to share upstairs, but she doesn't downstairs. I will be very happy for the decorations to go! On the other hand, every once in a while, the little white dust mop is right: Perhaps on LIVE LIKE A CAT DAY, I can live like a Human day and get my day in court about that horrid, derogatory, insipid photo. Just remember: Calumny and Lies! Despite it all, Happy Hannukkah, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year in whatever combination applies to you! Defensively
yours, |
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